There would be no guilt, if there were no judges. There would be no crime, if there was no law. The jungle was a peaceful place, till civilisation carried its angst to them.
If I kill an enemy, I kill a part of myself – the part that gave in to hatred and a desire for revenge. Am I a purer version of myself after that?
What I did does not hurt as much. What hurts are the things I wanted to do, but could not. I blame others. I reprimand myself for giving in, for not raising the only voice I possessed.
Then, another phenomenon begins.
The past starts speaking in many voices. A few of those resemble mine with different tones and inflections. I blame it on limitations of life. I rationalize those as a response to provocation. Many of those stem from others’ opinions. Why can’t I just own those shadows and trash them where they belong?
The future beckons with an enticing voice, but I look at it with suspicion. Is it a ghost from the past out to trap me?
I jump from one echo chamber to another, looking for the most comfortable place.
The people I spend a lifetime thinking about sleep in peace, unaware of my struggle.
They will smile at me tomorrow, “How are you?”
I’ll avert my eyes, and they will move ahead with their lives. I do not exist for them.
There is a continual internal conflict of what we believe to be right and wrong. And the injustice by those who lived with two faces – teaching us to do one thing and then doing the opposite. The struggle doesn’t seem to diminish because the reconcilliation of that confict and our own turn into the echoes you speak of.
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That is the whole point. “The struggle doesn’t seem to diminish.”
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Too often individual struggles either get ignored or swept into some hidden abyss of one’s soul. We need to forgive ourselves our faults while we learn to improve so we can help ourselves help others. 💕
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Lots of food for thought! One observation, the people you think are sleeping in peace are likely struggling just as you are. Good lines, Reena!
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Thank you so much, Susi!
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You’re welcome!
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A very evocative piece Reena
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So glad you enjoyed it.
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Very much so.
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Oh, I see it either. 🤗
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Thank you, Erin!
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