I Used To Be Seventeen

I Used To Be Seventeen

“what do you want from me?”
i asked myself
i want you to be seventeen again
maybe then, just maybe
you could undo things that happened
your adult self couldn’t accept as true
for being young and vulnerable
for being young and weak
for being young and helpless.

how dare you let it happen?
how dare you played dumb and stupid?
you were not dumb; much more stupid
but at that moment
that longest 20 minutes of your life
you were, without a doubt
no contest; dumb and stupid.

how dare you miss the signs?
how dare you believe the lies?
how dare you blame it on being young
and being so naive at the same time
didn’t you even think anything wrong
could happen to you?

you were pinned down the ground by a man
twice your size, just not twice your age
but…