I escaped superficiality, on experiencing the depth of pain. I was compelled to delve in, and find the source. Why does my mother hate me?
Each humiliating episode of sarcasm, rebuke or feigned disappointment stands sharp and clear in memory. At that time, I did not know what emotional or mental abuse meant.
Today, I’ve learned enough to understand.
It could be animosity carried over from past lives. It could be a narrow mindset about a woman’s place being in the kitchen, and her disappointment on seeing a personality blossom beyond that. It could be envy in negative forms.
Would I have bothered to delve into personality-related subjects, occult or mysticism, if she had been nice? Would I have helped others in a similar predicament?
I guess I owe something positive to an unhappy childhood.
If it’s darkness
we’re having, let it be extravagant.
(144 words)
Creative Experiments and More 
You might have been a totally different person, but we learn from all experiences.
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I agree. Thanks a lot!
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😄
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That pain I can feel, and I like your redemption theme (as I experience it) as nothing is wasted, even in the dark traumas of growing up.
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Thank you so much! I like ‘nothing is wasted, even in the dark traumas of growing up’.
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Thank you Reena, and – my pleasure indeed.
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This is so raw… to owe someone for the pain they cause… well, sometimes we do develop because what we learn by our tormentors… in my case it might have been the bullies at school.
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We meet tormentors in many forms, and revenge is not always possible. All we are left with are lessons learnt.
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This: Would I have bothered to delve into personality-related subjects, occult or mysticism, if she had been nice? For me personally the answer is no, I think I’d been a totally different person then.
And even though I now have an adult understanding of what happened. The pain never wholly goes away. And often bleed trough my writing.
Touching and well written.
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Thanks so much! Glad you liked it.
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I like the use of the first person in this, Reena. It adds to the complexity of the mother/daughter relationship.
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Father-son relationships can be as complex at times. They say that maturity starts the day one is able to forgive one’s parents.
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Moms are complex beings… at least mine is.
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Ultimately, there are two individuals in every relationship. Socially defined bonds may mask the real equations, but it always remains somewhere.
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son
goes down
to my faults
too
welcome
to original sin
a no win
in our own human zoo!
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‘Original sin being a no win’ is original ☺
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