The title ‘Cracked Facade’ stirred something. I could not resist a corporate account I had written on LinkedIn 2 years ago, though it is not in line with the festive spirit.

THE PSEUDO-EMPATH

THOUGHT-PROVOKING WORDS

“Pseudo-empathy is packaged as finely tuned performance, an act that convinces most people. The narcissist focuses all of this attention on you like a laser beam. He gives you the impression that you are not alone as long as he is by your side, solving your problems, anticipating your needs”.

Article Source : http://www.lisaescott.com/

The narcissist (especially high-level narcissists who are very successful in the world) is very adept at fake empathy or what can be called pseudo empathy. The socially gifted narcissist is an expert at convincing others that he/she cares deeply about them. “Pseudo empathy is exquisitely designed by the narcissist to manipulate others so they will fulfil his narcissistic needs.”

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/1545923

THE STORY

A high-flying executive, let us call him X, has spent all his professional life, affiliated to a single safe, core group in the corporate world. He is seen as an amiable, easy-going, good-natured guy, used by the top layer to maintain harmony amongst various groups, and also extract relevant political information with his charm. He is also non-committal, and a fence-sitter in most of the controversial issues.

Y is a competent employee, who often faces rough weather, due to the ethical stance that he takes on issues. The set-up is ruled by a tyrant, and the corporate environment is not conducive to people, who voice opinions or raise questions. Y sees X as a mentor and an empathetic friend, who makes an effort to help and support, wherever possible. He is intensely loyal to X, projecting a very positive image about him, down the lines in the organization.

Y feels uncomfortable at times, but does not pay heed to certain warning signals in the behaviour of X .

Not taking calls beyond office hours, even if the issue was urgent.
Not responding to certain messages and emails.
Making veiled comments such as “Organizations are not about choosing bosses”.
Seeing Y waiting outside his cabin, obviously to discuss something important, but totally ignoring the same, and not bothering to check later, on what was the issue.

Remaining silent on controversial issues, where his intervention could have resolved the issue.

Y is in the thick of his own problems, and in some cases, has no alternative, but to accept it. A volte-face in his stand on a mentor he has so openly admired, is also not easy.

There are several decisions taken that undermine Y, but whenever they meet, X continues to be nice and comforting. While other members of the favored group are given several new team members reporting to them, the status of Y is gradually diminishing. X feigns helplessness, whenever the topic is brought up, or just evades it. The realization begins that X is only paying lip service, and does not act in a positive manner. Perhaps, Y is not needed any more to provide inside information. The mask has started slipping……

A new project comes up, which is crucial to Y, and can reduce some of his woes in the organization. Y is also the most knowledgeable and competent person in the set-up for the same. X keeps Y in the forefront, asking him to assume more responsibility, and deliver within the tight time frames. The project involves high expenditure. The first vendor is appointed for a market survey, who is paid double the market rates, and the protocol of comparing quotes is not followed, prima facie, due to lack of time. This is the shape of things to come…

A high-profile meeting is called to discuss the way forward. X and Y, both walk up the staircase together, to reach the conference room, and X is smiling and amiable. There appears no reason to suspect his co-operation. The bombshell is dropped in the meeting. X recommends the name of another employee Z, who has been totally alien to this project, so far. Z has the right affiliations, and is an old-time favourite, whom X has groomed in his own form and style.

Y is asked to ‘help Z out’. On his refusal to work in subordination to Z, he is asked to give a written explanation, for disobeying ‘unwritten instructions’. The mask has dropped, and the Devil stands revealed in his full evil glory.

The written reply is given by Y, in the form of his resignation.

OBSERVATIONS

There is only a difference in degrees between a psychopath, sociopath and a pseudo-empath. The core personality remains the same – “Use and Throw”, though the tactics used may vary. The modus operandi is to ensnare potential victims with charm, and then dump them in a manner, that the victims do not recognize themselves, or the perpetrator for some time. The shock leaves a deep scar on the psyche.

There are so many layers to a personality, and so many complexities in a corporate or political situation, that even the most astute observer can fail to make an accurate judgement.

And the only measure of preserving one’s sanity is to get out of their orbit, whatever the price to be paid.