She was the kind of woman who infused all your hopes and dreams into a loving reality emanating from an equally loving universe. I lived in an invulnerable fortress, safe from the misery, ignorance, jealousy, hatred and chaos that surrounded it. I dreamt that my life was important. I dreamt that I could make my little plans. I dreamt that everyone was essentially playing by the same rules. I feel a strange gratitude.
Perhaps it’s part of our basic nature to drift into a waking dream state when there are no serious threats on the horizon. Perhaps that’s why the universe is constructed as a dangerous universe — to keep us awake.
She said, “What difference does it make if I’ve slept with rock stars, movie stars and sports legends? Stand still while I stab you in the heart with my intrauterine device.”
The way I figure it, this is a miraculous universe, but also a remarkably dangerous one. Sleepwalking is ill-advised. I’m finally a worn-out, emotional wreck who’s incapable of anything resembling warmth, love and intimacy.
For the WhiteOut Wednesday Challenge -9. Details of the original pieces given at
https://blackcatalleyblog.wordpress.com/2017/03/29/whiteout-wednesday-9/
Coverpic: menshealth.com
