When young people call it Quits

 

IIT-Aspirant Allegedly Commits Suicide In Kota, 6th Death This Year |

NDTV.COM, May 2016

Over 4,400 students drop out of IITs, NITs in three years

The Times of India, August 2015.

Medical capitation fee zooms as seats go under knife

• Business Standard, June 2014

 

I read only one word in all these news headlines – DESPERATION.

And it is not only the teenagers, but their parents who need help, DESPERATELY.  The parents involved are mostly baby-boomers, who have grown up, and been to college in the eighties. ‘Professional qualifications’ carried weight back then, and those were engineering, medicine or dentistry. Those who couldn’t make it turned to a research-oriented M.Sc/M.Phil/Ph.D, or put all their might in getting through the Civil Services examination. Some shifted to the Commerce stream, and were chasing Company Secretary or Chartered Accountancy qualifications. The not-so-good landed as Probationary Officers in nationalised banks, and spent their working days thinking “Wish I had qualified for a MBBS or BE course”.

Courses in Mass communication, Design, Fashion Technology, Journalism, Law, Political Science and Psychology were for the students in the Arts stream, the ones where mark sheets were not a life and death issue, but the future was uncertain. Sports and artistic talents were meant to be nurtured, but as a hobby that added value to the curriculum vitae. Options like graphic design, social media marketing, web design, app development did not exist. Start-ups and entrepreneurship were not for the middle class. One had to have an industrialist father to support the venture.

Some common disparaging remarks from parents were :

‘Everybody cannot be a Ritu Beri. You will end up being a glorified seamstress’.

‘Who will marry you? You will spend your life with a clerk.’

‘If you don’t study, you will end up selling Chana Bhaturas’ … said the father of the celebrity chef Sanjeev Kapoor.

Does this generation not love their children? Have they turned into mean, psychopathic parents, pushing their children round the bend? No. I do not think so. The perceived reasons are :

1. Lack of successful role models in their social circle, in non-science streams.
2. Lack of awareness of other professional options.
3. The lure of the fancy salaries offered to IIT and IIM grads.
4. Their desire that the child takes over their successful medical practice.
5. The desire to send their children abroad, after getting an IIT degree.
6. Vicarious fulfilment of their own unfulfilled ambitions.
7. Low awareness of the struggles in getting a post-graduate degree or job, after graduation.
8. Low awareness of the challenges that a student can face in Tier1 colleges.
9. Keeping up with the Sharmas or Mathurs or the kitty party circuit.
10. In certain regions, the dowry that a male doctor can fetch is attractive. Grooms are ‘booked’ by rich restaurateurs or businessmen, before they pass out.

Consequences

• A child who has scored 50% is expected to be ‘coached’ well enough and compete with those in the 90% to 99% bracket.
• They are constantly badgered with the view, that ‘working hard’ for 2 years will entitle them to a lifetime of luxury.
• The institutes are minting money with the huge numbers that throng these institutes. Those who scored less had to pay more. The Kota economy has been revived after the closure of  JK Industries, with the mushrooming of coaching classes. The unemployed found a source of income in letting out accommodation, providing food to the students and their mothers, running cyber cafes, and providing ancillary services to the academic needs of students. The teachers in these institutes are the highest paid in the country, in their particular profession. Real estate zoomed up, since hostels provided a steady rental income. There was backward integration, with institutes opening their own schools to feed the institutes. ‘Dummy school’ facilities where the students do not attend regular school are the norm, despite regulations being tightened up. The township would be under serious economic pressure, if the inflow of students is reduced. There are enormous vested interests at stake.
• The students face the psychological pressure of knowing all that their parents have sacrificed to send them to these institutes. Failure would mean a terrible loss of face, a let-down, failure in being a worthy son or daughter.
• The parents, teachers, classmates, friends fail to see the symptoms of depression, or do not verbalize it. They hope that this is a phase which shall pass. The parents do not track their online activity, which might give a clue to the depressed mental state.
• Students who come from larger cities, or palatial homes in semi-urban places lead abysmal lives in residential ‘holes’. They often share accommodation, which exposes them to unsavoury companions. Alcohol, teenage smoking, drugs and sodomy are not unknown evils in the city.
• The shame attached to failure results in a conspiracy of silence. Till some youngster decides to call it quits, and becomes a statistical figure. There was an official statements to say, that the average number of 14-16 suicides, was well within the national average.  Only the number rising up to 18 or 20 would qualify to raise an alarm.
• 

Proposed remedies

• Entrance test before admission to these coaching institutes, and only students who showed some promise to be admitted.
• Stress management modules for the students.
• A counsellor in every institute.

This will hopefully prevent a suicide, but not the enormous loss of financial and mental resources invested. The smart ones know that they will appear for the entrance tests, not be selected, and go back to leading their life. 2-3 years are invested to please their parents.

Training parents

Parenthood is a field where most adults enter without adequate preparation and training. They need lessons in emotional intelligence, awareness of the kaleidoscope of opportunities, and learning to match the skill sets of their children with available opportunities. They also need to realize that they do not own their wards’ lives. Every child is born with a unique personality, and the parental role is to facilitate and support their initiatives. Parents do not fail, if the child is unable to carve out a successful life, despite support. The youngsters are ‘unique’, not ‘average’ or ‘below par’. Their unique capabilities need to be respected.

The Education System

This needs a massive overhaul, before the youth find a career of their choice, and institutions find employees to suit their requirements.  The commercial and political aspects override the socio-economic needs. A lot more research and expertise is needed in reinventing the education system, than the current initiatives. The scope of the Skill Development initiatives needs to expand a lot more, than catering to low or middle-income jobs.