Spring is upon us, so is the onerous task of spring cleaning. Not just that, we decided to get the house painted. Since both my husband and I are moving towards a Zen lifestyle, his first diktat was to get rid of junk. No arguments on that, and we appear to be in a state of perfect conjugal bliss.

I created an excel sheet to classify items, and was finalizing the criteria to be applied for discarding stuff. What exactly constitutes ‘junk’?

How can I say that an item preserved by my grandfather, and fondly passed on to me, will not have a ‘place of pride’ in some corner of my life? How can something he valued, be termed as waste? I must retain that ‘sacred corner’ with pictures of some departed dear ones, candles, sandalwood garlands and the treasured items.

And there Google threw up this beautiful picture under the title “How Ugly is the new Windows 10 Recycle Bin Icon?”  It is all a matter of perspective. We choose and store away mind-sets in fancy bins, with soul-stirring labels – childhood, peace, heritage, transformation, sage advice from my parents, the first glow of parenthood …. it goes on endlessly.

I need an additional memory card to stash some files away. But what do I transfer, and what is to be retained here? I had to invariably go through this process, before I hit the ‘Sort by’ button in the excel sheet.

And then, this ….

Yes. Empty Recycle Bin. Have a look, restore what may be used later, and junk the rest. What if life and our thought processes would have these command buttons.

The contents that emerged from my Recycle Bin are organized in a listicle here :

9 Mind-sets to be Recycled

1. My parents always said so …

Yes. We have inherited our fundamental values and ethics from positive parents. But we are living in different times, and more interesting ones. The obedient kid has grown up into a strong-headed and opinionated adult, but cannot refrain from citing childhood examples:

“You know, when I was as old as you are …….  “

The same principles may not be applicable or relevant, anymore. Adapt, recycle or delete.

2. If you are not like me, you can’t be good.

This is an inherent bias, which further develops into gender, racial, social and political biases of all hues and colours. It is a distrust of the unfamiliar, the unknown. Since we do not know how to deal with differences, we build a wall around us, and allow only ‘similar’ people to enter. NLP and body language theories have drawn from this mindset.

It makes sense to be curious about others, and enrich your limited repertoire, rather than shut them out.

Invite diversity, and you will rebuild the world.

3. ‘Prima Facie’ reactions

These are reactions from the outermost layer of your mind, with zilch effort applied to understand or analyze. These are based on the preconceived notions that we have, and our programmed reactions to certain things. That one glance of disapproval, a smirk, a tongue stuck out or a shrug is enough to instantly lose the other person. Communication does not proceed with openness and trust after that.

4. I’ll be true as long as you, not a single minute after….

I have often wondered, if a single instance of differing opinions, alters the entire personality. These may be people we have lived or worked with, for several years, before the split happens and distrust creeps in. If we have failed to see the true colours of the person, in the past, and are struck by a treacherous bolt from the blue, the negativity is justified.

But, what if I support a different sports team, political party or colleague? Does it negate everything else that we have held in common? Does it have to degenerate into enmity?

The magnitude of differences does matter. There are no universal rules here. But give it a thought.

5. Sarcasm is the highest form of intelligence

So says the author Oscar Wilde. But he also conceded that it is the lowest form of wit. It is the quickest way to lose an ally, though you have been established as a genius.

6. Looking through a borrowed lens

I know women with good professional qualifications, who have led a limited life, by choice. Their entire conversation centres around the opinions and experience of their closest family members. The dearest  ones have travelled and experienced the world outside, and they unfailingly share their viewpoints with the ‘respected lady of the house’. I was horrified by the idea of an existence, where one lives on borrowed opinions, and sees the world through borrowed eyes.

The internet brings the world at your fingertips, if one is not physically moving. But, please keep your mind open, and the faculties operational. It does not take much.

7. Typecasting

Oh, these people from that set-up, generation, geography or community…….       They just have it, or don’t have it in their genes. We refuse to acknowledge them as free-thinking individuals, who can exercise their own choice.

They are not programmed robots. The code can be rewritten.

8. Discounting your blessings

We are so obsessed with the injustice of life, and inequities of the world, that we fail to acknowledge the things that propelled us to this place. Motivation is only a reminder of the forgotten blessings.

Why do we need a Nick Vujicic to tell us, that he can be a celebrity speaker, despite being limbless? And sure, the kids are excited, because they have not seen anyone like him. Everyone has a Unique Selling Point.

And last but not the least,

9. Social media distractions

My excel sheet and the onerous task ahead beckons. Enjoy social media, but do not let it control your life.

Recycle, Restore and Delete. March ahead with positive mind-sets.